Freeing Your Inner Fitness Freak

Free Exercise

411 on the 305 | Jenna Hochman | February 23, 2016

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It’s pool party season, spring break is a few weeks away and American Apparel’s disco shorts are beginning to sell out in preparation for Ultra. However, after spending the last few months in hibernation, it is hard to imagine baring all in a Brazilian cutout bikini. You may have set that “workout, eat healthy, go vegan/stick to paleo/eat 2 pieces of lettuce per day” New Years resolution but let’s face it – a month has passed and you haven’t even tried on the Nikes your grandma bought you for Christmas.

Preparing to exercise can be tricky – especially when My Yogurt Bliss drains your bank account (side note: take the rewards card, you know it won’t actually be your last time there). Yet, Miami has many great (and free) exercise options.

Run Forrest Run: So, you want to start running, jogging. moving at a speed slightly faster than walking. However, treadmills tend to give more of Buddy-the-Elf-on-an-escalator feeling than physical endurance, and running the loop lost its appeal when you realized you had to pass both the frat houses and the red lot. An easy solution would obviously be to open your front door and hit the sidewalk but no one fucks with that boring shit. Instead, take a quick drive down to the Rickenbacker Causeway. You can park your car in the lots right after the SunPass toll and take a nice stroll along the water.

Highlights: listening to Miami moms critique their friend’s new boobs, truck drivers generously honking at you, and taking the perfect Instagram.

Being A Hippy n’ Shit: Bala Vinyasa was the perfect Coral Gables yoga studio. However, some weird changes have occurred this year and I’m not just talking about Green Monkey buying the company. It seems as if the entire Sigma Chi fraternity has felt the need to work on their ujjayi breath. Once a yoga class begins to feel more like a new RP, it’s normally a sign to move elsewhere. Finding a new (inexpensive) yoga studio isn’t always the easiest task. Instead of buying another $100+ package, consider trying some of the local free yoga classes. A few options include: 6:00 pm on Wednesdays at Riviera Park, 6611 Yumuri St (across the street from Publix); 6:00 pm on Tuesdays/Thursdays at Peacock Park, 2820 McFarlane Rd, 8:00 am on Saturdays on the Mayfair Hotel Rooftop, 3000 Florida Ave; 6:00 pm on Mondays/Wednesdays, and 9:00 am on Saturdays at Bayfront Park, 301 N Biscayne Blvd.

Highlights: stretching AND tanning.

Pumping Iron: UMiami undergraduate tuition is $44,400 per year. A membership to the Patti and Allan Herbert Wellness center is already included in this annual tuition. Equinox in Merrick charges $160/month while LA Fitness in Sunset charges $30/month – both with a $100 initiation fee. Save yourself a few hundred dollars and take advantage of the thousands you are already paying. If you want to avoid seeing people, hiding in the gym is a lot easier than expected. Retreat to the second floor elliptical machines and run the track instead of overexposing yourself in the cardio section.

Highlights: seeing your professor in a wife beater and rewarding yourself with a smoothie at the Courtside Eatery.

While it may seem perplexing that your winter metamorphosis blessed you with an oompa loompa body rather than a Nina Agdal figure, I promise that a few free exercise experiences will put you back in the right direction.


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